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Sunday, September 18, 2016

Epilepsy Update 18 September 2016

Complex Partial Seizures


I haven't written anything for a while because I've simply been trying to ignore the Epilepsy. I'm so sick and tired of it. I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it. 


I just want to be normal again...

That episode I had on the 31st of July seems to have broken something, again, as every major episode has done in the past, and my general condition has gotten worse again. 



Here we go again...?

Most days still mean up to 3 complex partial seizures, each usually lasting up to 3 minutes and not too awful strong.  The past few weeks, however, have brought occasional seizures which were stronger and lasted up to 10 minutes. I'd estimate maybe 2-3 per week. I'm starting to have clusters again too. What is even more difficult to take at the moment is that terrible feeling in the brain, as if my brain were immersed in oil, or lost in a fog or something. Migraines, apparently. It was so much clearer for a couple of months but now it seems to be getting worse again. When my brain is like that I tend to want to be alone, not talk or listen, and I don't very much like being touched at those times. 


I guess I should be thankful because the seizures I'm having now are still a whole lot better than they were just a few short months ago. If you read my entries from back then you'll see that they lasted for 20 Minutes or more and were so strong that continuing with whatever I was doing wasn't possible. I was in danger wherever I went- especially in town- because I walked around completely unaware of what was going on around me. I crossed streets, looking both ways but not seeing. I could have easily stepped out in front of a car at anytime and wouldn't have even known what had hit me. 


My next appointment at the neurologist is this coming Tuesday and I'm not looking forward to it, to having to tell him that my condition is slipping again. For some reason that makes me feel guilty! I know I'll probably try and make it look better than it really is...